After the mammograms and ultra sounds and biopsy the results came back on 12 February – I have a grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma. In plain words, breast cancer
Because I have private health insurance I could make an appointment with a private Breast Surgeon, which I had 2 days ago. He was calming and reassuring and I actually felt much better for the fist time since I received the diagnosis.
He is also very understanding, and although he made sure I knew it is not an emergency, I am booked in for a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy for Monday, 29 February
I have been positive this far, in the sense that I tell people not to worry and that it is nothing big and not to worry. But to be honest, I am not that positive within my self. When I get a headache my first reaction is ‘it has spread’; the same with a sore knee, a nose bleed, a cough – suddenly it feels as if my body is falling apart. It is hard to be positive within myself and my thoughts and I am so scared
I am also exhausted. Came home early from work today because I am really, really tired. Slept for about 4 hours and woke up still feeling tired. Things are getting to me and I feel emotional. And I don’t want to be strong for others anymore, I want to be able to show people I am scared, that I need support, that I am a wreck and just want to cry and cry and cry. And get this out of my body!!!!!!