Cancer, surgery, biopsy, radiation, recovery and whatever else……… is now getting to me. I went through everything, from diagnosis to the first day of radiation, quite well, without emotional up and downs, in a very positive frame of mind. But today, only the second day of radiation, I am crying my eyes out.

It seems as if I have reached my emotional limits and suddenly I feel I’ve had enough. I just don’t want to be me at the moment. I don’t want to do this anymore, I just don’t want to

Why now, why do I feel like this now that I am only 18 days from the end of this journey? The end is in sight but I can’t see it, I don’t know how I am going to get through it. I am tired and upset and alone

I want to get up in the morning and be healthy, in control of my own life. I don’t want a team of medical professionals, I don’t want to be part of this team any more

I want my life back


One thought on “Reflection”

  1. Susan, thank you for choosing to follow my blog, On the Go Quilting. I am sorry to read that you are a fellow breast cancer gal. Stick it out a few more days; the other side of this will bring you sweet life where you will appreciate everything you have and everything you see so much more than before cancer struck.
    Please know that I feel your pain, though I was lucky enough to avoid the chemo and radiation with mine. I have a woman I met just once when she came to tell me she had found lumps and wanted to ask me questions. I feel very close to her, as I now do to YOU, because we have shared that horrid experience of knowing cancer is in our body.
    Know that I am available for a chat or a kind word anytime!

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