A good Tuesday

I have two amazing, beautiful cats – during the day. At night they turn into monsters! They run through the house, chasing each other and most of the time part of the chase is to jump over me in bed. They also climb on everything, throw tablecloths off (and everything that might be on the table). This was the damage Monday morning

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Yes, they broke two piggy banks. My life savings 🙂

I also had a good Tuesday. It is so nice to be able to get up in the morning and to be able to do needlework, instead of working. I am enjoying my year off

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I do like this little daisy dress. At this stage I don’t have a little girl in mind to give it to, it will go to the present drawer, ready when I need something for a 2-year old

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Productive Saturday

Not much sewing or needlework happening here the past few weeks. I am searching for a new project, similar to the crochet fusion quilt I made, but haven’t come across anything interesting yet

Today we assembled my sewing machine table and I couldn’t stay away from sewing, it was too tempting. And this is the end-result of a very productive Saturday (a bit out of focus as I rushed to take a photo before the camera battery died). I didn’t do the smocking today, but finished it quite a while ago. I only made the little dress, which will be delivered to a new mum next weekend

SAL update

Lots of needlework the past few weeks……..not that many boxes unpacked! I completed the Crochet Fusion quilt!!!!!!!!

This is where I was last time:

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And here it is now:

I even learnt how to block acrylic wool so that keeps the shape – with steam. Now that i finished it I am looking for a similar project, I enjoyed doing the crochet fusion quilt so much

Please take some time and look at the lovely work of the other SAL members:
AvisClaireGunCaroleLucyAnnKateJessSueConstanzeDebbieroseChristina,
Kathy MargaretCindyHelenStephLindaCatherineWendy

Letrozole/Femara

Letrozole is also used to help prevent the cancer from returning. Some breast cancers are made to grow faster by a natural hormone called estrogen. Letrozole decreases the amount of estrogenthe body makes and helps to slow or reverse the growth of these breast cancers.’ (direct quote from http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-4297/letrozole-oral/details)

I was a really sissy during radiation and didn’t cope with it very well. Some people fly through radiation, continuing their daily lives like normal. Not me – I got tired, although it is not the normal tiredness, it is fatigue. Fatique just happens – I didn’t have to do anything specific to feel fatigued, it could simply be because I got out of bed. Or drive, or do needlework, or nothing at all. It is horrible because you want to do things, you plan to do things, and then simply can’t because your body doesn’t want to. Sometimes I would start with a lot of energy and enthusiasm, just to be knocked back and soooooo tired I couldn’t move. Even reading is impossible at times when you are fatigued. I am off work for a year (unpaid leave) because I realised that I wouldn’t be able to feel like this and work. And I thought the stress at work is preventing me from recovering

Some months after radiation I started with Letrozole. I thought as if I was really doing well and still blamed radiation for the fatigue

Then I struggled with my knee – it would just hurt at random times….when I sat down too long, when I walked and when I got out of bed. At times I was limping, other times my knee was perfectly fine. I just thought things like this happen as you get older and didn’t really worry about it

I noticed weakness in my arms and hands at some stage – so much so that I struggle to open the toothpaste one morning. And then other bottles. Or a ‘tiredness’ in my arms when I carried something, or put the washing on the line. And then it will go away and come back at the most unexpected times. At times I had to use both hands to pick up the laptop, or to put it down, as one hand/arm just wasn’t strong enough to hold it up

Suddenly I had trouble walking. I would get out of bed and my feet would hurt so much I couldn’t move them, or lift them or walk unassisted. I started to shuffle slowly, like a very, very old person. And then the pain started to continue throughout the day and I had sore feet 24 hours a day. And my legs, and my knee (just the one knee, funnily enough). And then my arms started hurting, and my shoulders. And I got tired even quicker. My battery simply never charged to full power any longer

I didn’t sleep well at night, although I felt exhausted. Other days I slept the whole day and night. Everything became unpredictable and one day things clicked and I googled ‘side-effects of Letrozole’. Yes, I know you aren’t suppose to google health issues……..but sometimes I think you should. Because there it was – every single thing I felt. I could tick off so many of the side-effects of Letrozole – most of mine are classified as ‘rare side-effects’, with only 1 in 100 complaining about it: (I changed the text to red where they listed the side-effects which I experienced)

Common side effects

More than 1 in every 10 women have one or more of these effects.

  • Hot flushes and sweats – this happens in about 3 out of 10 women (30%)
  • Pain in joints or bones – this affects about 2 out of 10 women (20%)
  • Tiredness and weakness (fatigue) occurs in about 2 out of 10 women (20%)
  • Increased levels of cholesterol in the blood – this is usually only slightly increased

Rare side effects

Fewer than 1 in 100 people have these effects.

  • Nervous disorders, such as anxiety, nervousness, feeling irritable, drowsiness, or memory problems
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Changes in sensation, especially touch
  • Eyesight changes such as blurred vision
  • Red, sore eyes
  • A faster heart rate or feeling of the heart beating (palpitations)
  • Joint stiffness (arthritis)
  • Pain, stiffness, and clicking in a finger or thumb and a small lump in the palm at the base of the affected finger or thumb. This condition is called trigger finger and the affected finger may get stuck when bent towards the palm. Tell your doctor or nurse if you have this
  • Pain, a weaker grip, and numbness and tingling can occur in one or both hands, particularly in the fingers and thumb. This condition is called carpal tunnel syndrome. It is caused by pressure on a nerve that passes through the wrist into the hand. Tell your doctor or nurse if you have this
  • Breast pain
  • A high temperature (fever)
  • Taste changes
  • A dry mouth and feeling thirsty
  • Weight loss
  • Urine infections

I contacted my oncologist by email, listing how I felt and she recommended I stopped this medication immediately, and that we will re-assess again in three months.

Now, three weeks later, I still struggle with these side-effects, but it is becoming better. My feet still hurt, but less. I still get tired, but it seems as if my battery remains charged for a bit longer. I have more strength in my hands and arms. Yesterday my knee didn’t hurt at all. I feel better and I am positive that as soon as I have all of this drug out of my system I will feel much better.

I guess I have reached appoint where I will have to decide: quality or quantity. Am I going to take this drug again and have a miserable life, live with so much pain that I can barely walk. Where I can’t do things I love to do because it aches too much. I can see myself ending in a wheelchair if I have to continue this drug. Or am I going to stop taking it permanently and risk the cancer coming back – shorten my life but have good quality of life?

At this stage I am choosing quality. I’d rather live shorter, that living with terrible pain for a longer period. Personally I don’t think that is going to be a pleasant experience. Neither will dying of cancer be, but at least I will be able to enjoy life

I am not saying women shouldn’t take Letrozole. I am saying I am not going to go back on it because it is bad for me. I am worried about the battle lying ahead with the oncologist because I don’t think she will be understanding and supporting me if I refuse to take this drug.

The day I was diagnosed with cancer it felt as if I lost control of everything – I was told when to do what – when to report for surgery/treatment/appointments. It felt as if everything was out of my control, which is hard if you have been a very independent person your whole life. Now I am putting my foot down and taking control. I am not going to take this harmful drug again, I am going to risk getting cancer again. But until that day I am going to have a good quality life. Maybe shorter, but better

Not once…..but twice

I fell off the bike!!!!! It was as if I was just waiting for it to happen. The first time today was when I got on the bike…….and before I could set off I simply fell. A few scrapes and bruises but nothing serious. And then we were off for the ride. It all went well until I had to go uphill and I couldn’t get the right gear and I forgot about braking and balancing. I even forgot to simply put both feet on the ground. No, I took the easy way and fell. On the road. And honestly, the road is not soft at all 😦

I couldn’t get up because suddenly fatigue set in as well and I couldn’t even move the bike off me. I just wanted to sit in the middle of the road. Husband pull the bike away and pulled me up and I just sat on the sidewalk and waited for him to bring the car around

A friend offered to make me training wheels 🙂

This is my elbow after we cleaned it up and put a bandage on so that I don’t get blood on the furniture (the photo looks a bit weird because of the angle, but yes, it is my elbow)

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My first, and hopefully last, bike-inflicted wound

So tomorrow it is back to the parking area for a bit more practice!

 

Pumpkin Passport done and dusted!

Yeah! I finished the table runner, using the Pumpkin Passport design, today! Always rewarding to finish something you have been working on for a few months. I started this at the beginning of October 2016. Absolutely love it (should have ironed it before taking the photos though). People could say it is too much work to then turn it into a table runner, but I like making something I can use and enjoy. (and I used the nun stitch for the hem for the first time – it is so easy and pretty, can’t believe I have never used it before)

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