Water Race Track Walk

It was a beautiful, sunny winter’s day on the West Coast of the South Island of New Zealand yesterday. Instead of cleaning the house and doing other stuff around the house we decided to go for a walk. The Water Race Track walk is said to be an easy/moderate walk and that is one of the reasons I picked it. I decided about 15 minutes into the walk that if that is rated as easy/moderate I do not want to see the difficult walks at all. It was a steep uphill for about 45 minutes, and then downhill the rest of the time – but the type of downhill where you feel as if you just want to put the brakes on the whole time 🙂

According to the sign it was a 1 km walk and should take about 2 hours. No way, it took us much longer. But that is because I am still very unfit. I was quite surprised because there was only one little distance where I had to take a rest and was very out of breath; but the rest of the walk, although up and up and up and then down and down and down was ok. It helped that I took a walking stick with me

Our country is beautiful and the walk did not disappoint. Although the main walk is 1 km the fitbit said we did just under 5 kilometres for the day

Guilt

I often think back to last year and my breast cancer journey, especially when I limp more because my knee and feet still suffer from the side-effects of Letrozole (the medication which is supposed to prevent breast cancer from developing again); or when I am too tired to make myself a cup of coffee – luckily that doesn’t happen very often any more and the tiredness seems to be further and further apart. But I also think about the BC journey when I read about other cancer-survivors who are so positive and went through it smiling.

I realise those people struggled as much as I did, but they handled it so much better; or maybe they are simply people who never see a glass half empty. I am a teeny weeny bit jealous of them. And it makes me feel guilty for being such a drama queen and so negative at times. And I feel a bit upset that I didn’t handle it better, coped a bit better, maybe tried a bit harder to at least put up a positive front? Maybe if I was more positive things would have been better at school? Maybe I would have been less stressed all the time and would have healed better and faster?

For a long time, after treatment, I still felt that I had cancer and every ache and pain caused me to worry. My sore knee and feet – maybe bone cancer; my migraines – maybe brain cancer. It was very much in my ‘head’. But I am so grateful to say that I don’t feel like that anymore………..and I know it is thanks to the ovarian cancer scare I had this year. And the fact that the surgery went well. The bone scan also contributed to this because it would have shown ‘hot spots’ where there could be possible cancer spots

So even though I feel so guilty about the way I travelled this journey, it is now behind me and I am feeling good and healthy. Yes, I limp, but even that is now a reminder that I am healthy

It feels to me as if I need to find something to do – a part-time job, maybe volunteer work. And that makes me feel good! Yes, I still have a job to go back to next year, after my year’s leave, but I have so many negative memories of that environment that I definitely don’t want to go back. I am starting to look at job adverts, though this is a very small town and I am not really at an age which counts for me. In the meantime I am looking at volunteering, not sure where yet but it is a definite option for the future

Susan

Unbirthday parcel

Thank you so much Claire for a wonderful unbirthday parcel. I love it, especially the monster zippy pouch with the paw prints on the ribbon (and my favourite colour!). The postcard went straight onto the fridge. It is so lovely to receive a gift like this, it made me feel special

unbirthday

I started with a little cross-stitch scene while my daughter was here from Canada. I needed something to do while we relaxed in front of the fire and chatted. Finished it now, just have to frame it (I have to admit it is not perfect as all the stitches aren’t crossing over in the same direction all the time – therefore it will definitely not be gifted but will find a place on the wall in my sewing room)

paris cat

Baby dress

I fell in love with this little dress when I first saw it – the pattern, the colour, the ribbon – everything. But the problem is that I still cannot read a pattern when I crochet, I still follow YouTube videos.

Luckily………a happy dance when I found it on YouTube!!!!!!! And it was so quick to crochet

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I am also making good progress with the jelly roll quilt – busy attaching the cats to the quilt top, using blanket stitch.

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