Fatigue is very much like a headache or back pain – the invisible health issues people can’t see and do not always believe. But unlike a headache or back pain it can strike within seconds, changing a person from an energetic, busy human being to someone who do not have enough energy left to walk, or make a drink, or read a book. Sometimes it comes without warning, other times your body tells you to slow down or to take some time off to recover. But whichever way it makes an appearance – it is frustrating and makes you feel worthless, as if you have lived your life and the best is behind you
Fatigue is not something that is understood, it is also not something you can really describe to others. Healthy people cannot imagine how a human battery can simply discharge without a ‘low battery’ warning, and that it can sometimes take days to recharge
Fatigue means you can never accept an invitation, because you don’t know how you are going to feel at that time. It is sometimes easier to decline, instead of apologising at the time and say you can’t make it because you are too tired. Fatigue do not go away when you relax in the company of others……fatigue means you don’t have the energy to be in the company of others
Fatigue is not ‘in the head’ as some people think, it is not a ‘made-up’ excuse to get out of doing stuff. Believe me – if you struggle with fatigue you do not use it as an excuse for anything. Because, when you have the energy, you are happy to do simple things like vacuuming or cleaning…….because you can!!!!!!!
You are often told to exercise, when someone hears you struggle with fatigue. I get so tired of explaining to people that I am sometimes too tired to do anything and there is no way I can go for a walk if I am too tired to brush my teeth. And when I feel ok and exercise and go for walks and cycling……..it can sometimes take days to recover. It is really a tricky situation at times. I am NOT lazy, I am not looking for excuses – but I hesitate sometimes to do things because I know that it is going to take a long time to recharge again.
I cycle, every time a bit further than the time before. And I am very proud of those little achievements. But I am often scared to do it because it frustrates me when I have no energy afterwards
I listen to my body and if it tells me to rest I won’t push myself. Because I know if I push my body too far I am going to pay for it in future
I am thankful for an understanding husband who can read me like a book. He knows, sometimes before I do, that it is time to take a break, to sleep, to sit, to just do nothing
But I hate it, I hate feeling like this, I hate making plans and then cancel it, I hate that I can’t walk fast and shop and clean and do the stuff I used to. I hate that it takes days to clean the house instead of hours, if at all. I hate the frustration, the helpless feeling, the feeling that I am not good enough any more
I am thankful that my battery lasts longer than what it did a few months ago. But it is so frustrating that when it goes flat it takes longer to recharge than what it did a few months ago
I am thankful for needlework for which I don’t need a lot of energy; that I can at least do something sometimes when fatigue hits me
Fatigue is horrible and I don’t wish it on anyone